Clare’s Coffee Review- Anchor Coffee

By: Clare Buchanan

[“And there he was…wearing Armani on a Sunday.” I couldn’t help but think back to this episode of SATC today as I walked downtown to get my final cup of coffee, passing by all the chic Moravian couples as they left their Sunday morning service at the Home Moravian church. I didn’t spot any Armani but I did see a lot of Ralph Lauren, Ann Taylor, Tory Burch, and Talbots- which I can get behind.] Photo Credit: Pinterest

The last spot on my eight-day coffee shop pilgrimage was Anchor Coffee, a hipster run industrial coffee shop/brewery right next to Bailey Park downtown. 

I’m going to take a moment to be honest with all the readers. I woke up this morning and truly the last thing I wanted to do was walk a mile downtown to get an overpriced latte, but I knew I had made a commitment, not only to this publication, but to myself. I was on a mission to find the greatest bean in Winston-Salem, and the thought of throwing in the towel on the last day and missing out on what could possibly be the best bean in Winston-Salem, was jarring and got me out of bed. I marched downtown bundled head to toe in scarves, beanies, and mittens because it was 26 degrees outside and my California self is not used to temperatures below 50, let alone temperatures below 30. 

But there’s nothing like walking downtown on a blustery, Sunday morning. While I am still getting used to the colder North Carolina temperatures, I welcome the chill happily. I thrive better in colder environments, like a barn owl. 

Sundays are particularly interesting in Winston-Salem. The first time I went out on a Sunday morning after moving to the South, I literally thought there was some kind of national emergency or lockdown going on. The streets were completely empty. No cars were on the roads, let alone the highway. I felt like Rick from The Walking Dead when he first left the hospital in Atlanta- just completely disoriented. I ended up passing by a church and realized that’s where everyone had gone off to. I’ve since learned to enjoy the silence of the city on Sunday mornings, grateful that people choose to spend their weekends in community with one another. While I too like to spend my weekends in community with others- I need a cup of coffee first to get me going. 

Anchor Coffee seemed like a good place to end this pilgrimage. I had never been before but the name intrigued me. I am currently in a period of my life where anything nautical excites me. I have always enjoyed a good pirate story, but truly I find life at sea to be harrowing yet romantic. What is more beautiful than the sight of a lighthouse on the foggy banks of the shore? I also think sailors have great fashion taste and ever since reading The Sea Wolf by Jack London, I have been really into the ship of it all. Ships are really cool- we should bring those back. Not to mention, sea shanties. They are a delight within themself.

Actually, my favorite coffee shop in the entire world was an Australian lesbian owned coffee spot in San Luis Obispo, California called Skipper’s Brew. It was nautical, gay, and dog friendly. It’s since closed down because the owners went back to Australia, but ever since I’ve been searching the seas of coffee shop lore to find another nautical themed shop. I thought maybe Anchor Coffee could be that for me. I was wrong.

I was ready for Anchor Coffee to blow me away today. Maybe my expectations were set too high. I was imagining a coffee shop decorated with top sails and fishing lures, those very realistic pirate mannequins that almost look like they are made out of wax and real human hair, posters of American Traditionalist flash tattoos on the walls, braided ropes hanging from the ceiling, perhaps some sand on the floor like how they put peanut shells on the floors of old honky tonk bars. I had a vision. Unfortunately, that’s not what I was greeted with. I will get into this as we head towards the actual review. All I’m saying is that Anchor Coffee missed out on a HUGE opportunity to be the only nautical themed coffee shop I know of in Winston-Salem. They really missed the mark. 

Here’s my review of Anchor Coffee:

ANCHOR COFFEE

–Walkability: 1.1 miles from campus, about a thirty minute walk. 0.95 nautical miles if you want to go by ship. 

–Order: Hot vanilla latte with whole milk. (This is the last vanilla latte I will ever have. I am so sick and tired of them.)

–Price: $6.96 (I’m sorry- excuse me?) 0/5 squirrels. 

–Taste: For basically seven dollars, there was nothing special about this bean. I don’t even have anything else to say because I am so disappointed. 3/5 squirrels. 

–Ambiance: Anchor Coffee can be described as your typical, run of the mill hipster coffee shop that is trying to do something different but actually ended up doing nothing at all in the process. Did Winston-Salem really need another dimly lit coffee shop with exposed ventilation and rustic brick walls that looks like after hours it could be used as a cock fighting ring? Did we really need another coffee shop that has avant-garde industrial artwork on the walls that look like some sort of torture device that could have been used in the Saw franchise? It just makes me wonder- what separates Anchor Coffee from literally every other coffee shop downtown that used to be a factory or warehouse? I understand we have to do something with these buildings. God forbid we build housing. But what is Anchor Coffee’s unique and special service that they offer to the community of Winston-Salem? It certainly isn’t an artisan crafted bean because the coffee was pretty mediocre. But you know what would have made the $6.96 latte 100% worth it? If the barista had a fake (or real?) parrot on their shoulder as they were making my coffee. Never mind the possible health violations- imagine if the parrot sang. I would pay ten dollars for a latte if a pirate was making it. I would pay ten dollars for a latte if when I walked into the coffee shop, I was greeted by a drag king dressed as Blackbeard who was singing “The Wreck of Edmund Fitzgerald” to me as I was escorted to the helm of the ship (the counter) to order my Salt and Tar Latte (a salted rum flavored latte that has been steamed with a hint of cardamom.) What happened to the sense of creativity in our society? What happened to having a little bit of fun? I’m tired of the post-modernist, industrial coffee shops that feel like the actualization of a Dostoyevsky novel. If I want to feel sorry for myself and the world around me- I can just go back to Los Angeles. Let’s start bringing some Margaritaville type energy into every hipster run industrial warehouse coffee shop in this town. I don’t care if the elite of Winston-Salem think that’s a bit “trashy.” Trashy is fun. Trashy is camp. This could heal us. Overall ambiance: 1/5 squirrels.

–Customer Service: Like…ugh. At this point, I respect the baristas commitment to the craft and I can’t even say anything of meaning about the baristas at Anchor Coffee. I’m sure it’s not their fault that the ownership completely dropped the ball on the nautical theme, so I won’t let it out on them. 4/5 squirrels.